Spring is on its way!

Yesterday it was pretty warm. Today too. As compared to the horrible chill before. The winter is passing, and its always shocking because its almost like it goes from being horribly cold to being very very warm in a matter of weeks. How is that!?!?!

Anyway, Jan and Marisol finally had their baby. The sight of her was a shock...Its so hard to explain. Like seeing my brother as a baby girl? Or seeing my blood that I had never seen before but knew was somewhere? Very strange feeling.
One of the great things about the past few weeks, too, is that for Valentine's Day, my grandma, Mama Nene, went to her friend Karen's house. Karen let her use her computer and camera, and Mama Nene was able to talk on Skype for the first time, and see the new baby, her great-granddaughter, Aisha. It was perhaps a huge jump, I hopefully imagine, from being totally isolated, to realizing that we are all still around, somewhere, and eager to see her. I thank goodness for internet video communications.

I have been working on my garden, which is an increasing assortment of pots. Most recently, I have been trying to sprout a variety of citrus seeds. Yuzu, Tangerine, Orange, and Kumquat(金柑). I also puchased my first large plant, a pineapple guava. I love tasting the flower petals, and the fruit is yummy.

Goodbye....

Well... my grandma passed away last week. She was suffering a lot, she had a nother stroke, and couldn't take in nutrients, so she quickly faded away. There are a lot of people who will miss her. I am going to bake a pumkin pie and think of her, thank her, while I bake it. She was a WONDERFUL cook. She would make huge feasts, and the whole family would come and enjoy Christmas and Thanksgiving at her and Grandpa's house. Their house smelled so good... like roses, and when it didn't smell like roses, it smelled like good food cooking. She made huge, yummy breakfasts. She and the family had a successful family business, a rose garden where they sold roses to the whole world. My grandpa and grandma loved to travel, too. One time, I was about 8, and my mother used to lead me on guided meditations, after which I would meditate by myself for about 45 minutes. That time, I was meditating, and I guess I suddenly told my mother, ' Grandma and Grandpa are on the airplane and they are coming back from Europe.'I had no way of knowing this, but that evening we got a call from Grandma, and she said that they had just arrived from Europe. Another of their travel memories is when they came to Japan. They came a few times, I think. They liked it very much. They went to visit Hiroshima, and when they came back, they gave me a souvenir. It was a book of bonsai. It was one of the things that brought me to this country in the first place.
Thank you Grandma and Grandpa, for many wonderful memories and including me in your lives. I hope that you are both happy and together. Rest in peace. With love, Sofia.

Past, Present and Future

My stepmother, Lidija, called me last night. She said that my grandma had a stroke. She can't move half of her body, and she can't talk.
My mother's mother and father I often worry about. They have been getting older.
Lidija recently had a baby.
My brother's wife is pregnant.
He and his wife just got married.
I just got married a year ago.
I miss my family.
I feel like at this time, past and present and future are at a crossroads.
There are many people being born. People getting married. People near death.

I am painting a painting for the Geijitsusai, an art and music exhibit.
It is called memories. It is a memory of my mother's mother when she used to rock me, and all the memories of her life behind her, like a map. We are being watched over by a sparrow.
She loves sparrows, and so do I. When I was a baby,I used to sleep at her house. Early in the morning, the sparrows would come to play in her driveway and the roses below the window. They would wake me up with their joyful chatter. So at 5 AM in the morning, I would wake up and run to her bed and say,
"Mama Nene, Mama Nene! Los pio pios estan cantando!!" which means Mama Nene, Mama Nene! The pio pios are singing! (Time to wake up) To which she would sleepily respond, "Go back to sleep, Sofia! Its 5:00 in the morning..." I would go back and watch the birdies for hours until she woke up.